Why Mom Shaming Needs to Stop

Hi everyone and happy hump day! I've been wanting to write about mom shaming for awhile now because over the past few months I've realized how relevant and destructive it is. I think a lot of people don't even know they're doing it and honestly, I was probably guilty of it before I was ever pregnant. It's something that people need to be aware of and AVOID DOING IT. Mom shaming shows up in all different kinds of forms. Whether it's someone telling a mother she's doing motherhood wrong, judging a mom for something they can't control, or even being hard on yourself because of societal standards. I know I was very hard on myself for having to deliver Mia via C-section instead of having a normal delivery. Was it safer for her? Yes, so there was no question in having a C-section but it made me feel like less of a woman and less of a mother. I'm assuming this stems from natural births being so popular and the idea that those moms are braver than other moms who chose epidurals or end up with C-sections. Don't get me wrong, a C-section is not a walk in the park and the recovery isn't very fun either. Five weeks postpartum and my incision still bothers me a bit and it's not the prettiest mark on my body. However, what I should have focused on was the fact that I had a healthy baby and that in itself is amazing.

"No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother's love." -Edwin Hubbel Chapin

Now that I am a new mom, I've also taken to reading a lot of blogs and posts from other moms regarding mom shaming. The stories some of these women tell is absolutely astonishing. One lady said two strangers walked up to her in public and told her to be at home with her babies, not in the grocery store with them (um, sorry most people don't have personal assistants to get the groceries). Another woman said that she was told since she was a working mom she didn't care about her daughter. I wish I could tell the woman who made that remark, that she can come pay the bills so that mom can stay home with her daughter! Also, some of us honestly enjoy working. A lot of mom shaming comes from people who don't even have children so it leads you to ask yourself, where do they get off judging any mom out there? Even complete strangers feel the need to make comments to mothers they don't know! The worst is when other moms shame each other! There is not one single mom out there who is the world's only good mom. Hate to break it to you but motherhood isn't about competition. It really amazes me how inconsiderate people can be.

Every single mom I know has had a different journey. From pregnancy, to birth, to breastfeeding, to sleeping, etc. Motherhood isn't the same with each of your own children either! I've been very lucky that I've had a relatively easy time breastfeeding so far because that is not easy. I've slowly included various foods as well and she hasn't had any allergies! I know some women who have had a hard time with it and some who are weirded out by it. However, I would never tell another mother, "you're doing this feeding thing wrong" because I've been able to breastfeed. You just have to do whatever works for you. Every baby is very different so what may work for one may not work for another. There's all these books and blogs out there telling us "how to mom correctly" but in my opinion, there is no correct way! There's trial and error and finding out what works best for you and baby. There's nothing more frustrating and demeaning than finding what works for you but then being shamed about it. After hearing a comment about my motherhood tactics I realized that there is nothing more offensive than a mom shaming comment. You can tell me whatever you want about how I look, talk, whatever I don't really care but comment on what I'm doing as a mom (especially a new mom) and beware of my reaction. I'm sure plenty of moms can relate! Don't mess with momma!

"Life doesn't come with a manual, it comes with a mother." -Unknown

This post is a little bit of a rant and a little bit of a reminder to everyone to be mindful of what you say to a mom, or a dad for that matter. Society is already hard on women for just about anything and we don't need to make motherhood harder than it is. It's difficult for most women to find self love so let's not make that any worse. If you have an opinion on someones parenting style, keep it to yourself. I've decided if anyone wants to mom shame me I'm going to have some fun with my remark back to them and let it roll off my shoulders. I suggest you do the same and instead we can share all of our funny clap backs. Don't let someone else bring you down! Love yourself for being a mom and band together with all the other mommas out there!

Also, had to share another picture of our tiny human because I can't help myself :)

xo,
katie

Cilantro Lime Black Beans and Rice

I've been trying to come up with some creative and easy to make sides for dinner. This week I experimented with fresh black beans! I much prefer to use dry beans instead of canned beans. Below is what you'll need and how to make this yummy recipe!

Ingredients
-1 lb of dry black beans
-2 cups of white rice (can add more if you want more rice in the mix)
-1/2 bundle of cilantro, chopped
-2 limes
-4 cloves of garlic
-Garlic salt to taste

Directions
-Place the entire bag of beans in water to soak for a few hours ( they should absorb a lot of the water)
-Add the beans, four cloves of garlic, and six cups of water into a slow cooker and cook on low for 6-8 hours
-Before the beans are done, cook your rice and rinse out any excess water
-Mix the beans, rice, cilantro, and add garlic salt to taste
-Finish off by squeezing the two limes into the mix and then serve!

I love slow cooker recipes because you can cook them all day while at work and add your easy finishing touches at night for dinner. This mix can serve about 6-8 people. Enjoy!

xo
katie lynn

New Mom Must Haves

Mia is already one month old today! In this last month, I already have a list of products that I would highly recommend to make life with a new baby a little easier. I'm listing my new mom must haves below in no specific order. I'll also link where you can find these items. Swaddle blankets, burp cloths, and all those typical baby items are most important but I wanted to list a few special and specific items that gave me some extra help!

A small portable bassinet. This has been helpful if we are going to someones house for a long amount of time because I know I can put her down in a safe place to sleep. It will also be good for traveling and I use it during the day so she can be in the living room with me when I'm home. The one I use can be found here.

The Boppy Pillow. This pillow is a lifesaver especially for nighttime feedings. Mia and I can comfortably prop on the pillow while she nurses. This pillow is also meant to grow with baby so she will have different uses for it at three months, six months, and nine months. You can find the pillow here.

Boppy Pillow and Mia mid hardcore power nap.. lol

A Wubbanub Pacifier. Mia's mouth is so tiny that she has a hard time holding onto a pacifier. She also didn't like any other pacifier except for the Soothie's that are attached to this one. The animal on the pacifier helps me from 1- losing the darn thing and 2- keeping it propped on her so it doesn't fall out of her mouth. The Pacifier hasn't caused her any nipple confusion either so that's a plus. The pacifier can be found here.

A nipple shield. This was something that a nurse gave me in the hospital and I wouldn't have made it through the first weeks of breastfeeding without it! It helped with the pain, it taught Mia how to latch, and it saved both of us a lot of tears. Even now if she gets a little frustrated latching I will use it to help her and then take it off and she latches just fine. I would wait and see if you need one, I know some women may not have any latching issues and a shield may over complicate the process. A lactation consultant can be your best advice here. If you do need to buy one you can find the one I use here.

Milk Snob Cover. This cover is the best because it has so many uses. I can use it as a nursing cover, a car seat cover, a scarf, and a grocery seat cover. It's a thin fabric that isn't hot when we are nursing or when she's in the car but it still keeps the light out and gives us privacy. It's also tight around myself and the car seat which make it a lot easier to use instead of a lose fabric cover. The cover can be found here.

Milk Snob Cover

Medela HydroGel Pads. These also helped me through the first few weeks of breastfeeding because it was so painful! They're instantly cooling and can be reused. These are seriously like heaven! I found mine here.

A diaper bag insert. Personally, I never found a diaper bag that I liked more than my purses. I did find that Totesavvy makes these awesome purse inserts that can turn any bag into an organized diaper bag. I can also easily pull it out and switch to another purse or a backpack. I picked mine up here.

My Totesavvy

This is not a sponsored post by any means, just my own personal recommendations to help new moms. Enjoy my recommendations on new mom must haves!

xo,
katie lynn

Postpartum Diet & Breastfeeding Diet

Hi guys!!

I'm officially over two weeks postpartum and feeling pretty good! I was finally cleared for light exercise this week (just walking but I'll take what I can get) and my core is feeling a lot better. I gained, at the most, 22 pounds while pregnant and I've now lost 23 pounds since having Mia. I was 144 pounds and 22% BF pre baby and living a balanced lifestyle with my diet (also, I'm 5'7"). During pregnancy I was 166 at my heaviest and I ate pretty good but some days I would have horrible food aversions and just eat whatever sounded good (hot dogs, lol). Currently, I'm 143 pounds and 23% BF. However, my body is totally different! I lost a lot of muscle from mainly doing cardio while pregnant and that's what I'll be working to get back. I'm feeling pretty loose/skinny right now and I prefer a much stronger body! I've been trying to follow a pretty healthy postpartum and breastfeeding diet for Mia's health and for my own health. That'll help me when I'm back in the gym as well.

Two weeks post baby

I've been watching my intake on a few foods because I was concerned about anything that would affect breastfeeding through my diet. I've avoided things like broccoli, cabbage, beans, and spicy foods completely because I was concerned about those items giving her painful gas and an upset stomach. I've also kept dairy low because I was concerned about cows milk lowering my milk production. I eased into drinking almond milk and eating peanut butter and Mia doesn't seem to have any nut allergies. I'm also still keeping my caffeine intake low.

Since breastfeeding is going fine and Mia seems pretty happy then I'll probably start introducing some of these foods back into my diet. I feel like if I have a balanced diet we will both be just fine! I'll still monitor my cows milk and caffeine intake just because those won't help my own diet/health goals if I consume them in excess. I am not counting calories so I don't stress myself out but I am making sure I'm getting plenty of good meals into my day because breastfeeding does burn extra calories. I'm also eating a lot of healthy fat for my breastfeeding diet. Below is the schedule I'm following:

BREAKFAST

Carb, protein, healthy fat

SNACK

Nutritional bar

LUNCH

Carb, protein, veggie, healthy fat

SNACK

Something with more healthy fat

DINNER

Carb, protein, veggie

SNACK (sometimes if I'm hungry)

Something small with more healthy fat

I also wanted to list examples of what I'm eating for these meals!

BREAKFAST

Turkey bacon, two ingredient pancakes (one banana mashed with two eggs, SUPER easy) topped with natural PB

SNACK

Fig bar, love these

LUNCH

Tuna sandwich on wheat bread (gluten doesn't bother me), and carrots

SNACK

Lactation smoothie (posted this recipe here)

DINNER

Chicken cooked in garlic olive oil, rice with fresh garlic and a little light butter, and veggies also cooked in the same olive oil

SNACK

Almonds & Rasins

Two Ingredient Pancakes

I keep my meals pretty simple and easy since I'm busy with Mia and I'll spend most of my cooking efforts on dinner. These meals change daily because I like to mix it up and I'm not stressing over stuff like using a little bit of butter, etc. Being a new mom is the only thing I need to worry about, not stressing terribly over my diet!! Keep it easy, simple, and healthy. I reached out to my girl friends for some help on getting more fiber in my diet so I'll be adjusting a few meals (more veggies!!).

Also, a reminder that everyone's post baby journey is different and I am lucky to not be holding onto weight. This diet is working for me by keeping me full and feeling good. The weight loss is just how my body reacted right away but since I'm breastfeeding I'm definitely not trying to be in any crazy calorie deficit. I'm also still adjusting to my new body and I'm antsy to rebuild and see what happens! It's crazy what the body can do. If you're adjusting to your new body too, don't be discouraged! I'm trying to see this as a new path with nothing but room to improve my, "mom bod". I'll be eating good and walking my way through the next four weeks until I'm hopefully cleared for the gym! Then, I can see where I'm at and readjust my goals.

If you have any questions, always reach out :) I'm not a nutritionist- just sharing what works for me.

One week post baby

xo,

katie lynn

SaveSave
SaveSave