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Mia's 3 Month and Postpartum/ED Update

I can't even believe Mia is three months already! It's crazy how fast time flies. I'll miss her being tiny but I love watching her become more interactive. She loves to babble and eat and we are lucky to still be breastfeeding. Lately, my favorite thing that she does is smile at me. It is the best feeling ever to see her smile at me when she wakes up every morning. We aren't following a set schedule but she has created her own schedule. She sleeps through the night most nights so I'll enjoy that before the dreaded four month sleep regression! I know that I love being her mom!!
As for my own update, I have a new appreciation for the human body. It's crazy to me just what the body can do from growing a human to being able to continue to feed her. I'm back in the gym and it's been rough let me tell you. I wish I would've had a super fit pregnancy and while I was active, I wasn't able to lift like I wanted to due to just being freaking tired and some back pain. Now I'm lifting again and the soreness is real. What I will say is that if you've somehow fallen off the wagon or haven't been working out for some reason, it's a lot easier to get back into it. Yes, I'm sore but I'm not starting from the bottom (muscle memory) and I'm more motivated than ever.
I ended up hitting a new low weight that I haven't seen since 2014. If you've been following me for awhile you know that, that year was the peak of my disordered eating. I remember being the weight I am now after binge eating and calling my mom crying because I was "huge". I was only a few pounds from my high school weight but at that time, that was huge to me. It made me think that I've come a long way and while I still have little hints of weight anxiety, I now know how to handle it. If you're in the peak of any type of disordered eating, just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was worried my weight anxiety would hit me hard postpartum and I've been able to control it by reminding myself that this body gave me Mia. Practicing self love instead of beating yourself down will help you and should be practiced daily! Right now I'm not as focused on weight as I am on gaining my strength back. I'm happy with this weight that I once saw as huge. I'm the happiest I've ever been with my body and I actually think it's because I've seen what it can do. Keep looking for that self love and that light at the end of the tunnel. If you have serious body dysmorphia, reach out to someone to help you. If you can change the way you see yourself then you can find happiness!
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