A lot of little girls, like myself, think about one day becoming a mommy and as you grow up you learn the basics of what that entails. How babies are made (stork delivery isn't real), pregnancy is nine months long and painful at the end, being a mom is great, you will waddle and crave weird things, pretty much the obvious things. However, what no one tells you is that pregnancy is one of the biggest mysteries/learning experiences that you may ever go through. I've used Google and baby books so much in the last few months that I feel like I'm working on a third degree. I've had a lot of mommy support around me but I wish someone would have just rattled off a list of things I don't know and really would like to know before pregnancy goes any further. So even though I'm not a pregnancy expert and every pregnancy is different, I figured I can make my own list for some of you newly pregnant and totally lost mommas out there. This is a pretty simple list but hopefully it gives you a place to start your pregnancy journey!
- EVERY PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT! So many people tell me pregnancy stories, some of them good and most of them scary (not sure if I appreciate the honesty or would rather not know) and it makes you think that if your pregnancy isn't like someone else's then you're doing it wrong. I'm at the point that I'm supposed to have Braxton Hicks so everyone is asking me if I feel them and I. don't. feel. a. damn. thing. So then I start thinking that Mia is going to be in there forever because I haven't had them yet. Finally, I hear a story from one mom who said she never felt hers either and she had her baby right on time (hallelujah). She also told me what to look for if you don't feel anything and, turns out, I have been having Braxton Hicks. The moral here is to listen to everyone's experiences but know that you can't base yours off of anyone else's so don't be hard on yourself for that.
- Labor is nothing like the movies. Your water doesn't break while you're in public and you barely make it to the hospital, all the while screaming, and then having the baby as soon as you arrive. It sounds silly but believe it or not (since I've never been pregnant or looked into pregnancy) I thought your water broke and that meant baby was coming so you better get to the hospital ASAP. Easy peasy. Turns out a lot of water's don't break and there is A LOT to learn about labor and delivery. Don't skip this section in your baby book!!
- You need a baby book. There are tons out there so you'll have plenty to chose from. My mom bought me, "What to Expect While You're Expecting" and I took a look at this big book like when am I going to have time to read that? Luckily, she did buy it for me because I wouldn't have and it's become my bible. It lists all the odd symptoms you will experience and not expect. It talks about everything from baby's size to the fun term "lighting crotch". Yes, it's a thing.
- Be prepared for a lot of planning. Again, these sound simple but they are not things you think about if you've never really been around babies or haven't had one of your own yet. I have spent a lot of time at the doctor, pre-planning for baby, making lists, making phone calls, making more lists, etc. If someone offers to help you, let them. I'll share my baby planning checklist in another post soon :)
- Baby registries will take you hours to compile, if not days. There are so many options for babies that it'll make your head spin. Luckily, a lot of stores have a handy online check list to help you create that registry. You may just want to do your own research on different baby products so you know what the heck you're looking at. Also, ask for advice here. Ask other moms what they've used and not used so you can limit the amount of useless crap that companies try to sell you.
- People will give you tons of "advice". Just smile and nod. I found myself getting a little cranky with this in the middle of my pregnancy because sometimes it comes off as pushy advice. Really, people just want to help so take it all in with a grain of salt but make your own decisions. It's your body and your baby.
- Try your best to continue a healthy lifestyle but also cut yourself some slack. I so badly wanted to have a crazy fit pregnancy and squat my way into 40 weeks while still downing grilled chicken salads. However, back pain threw the squats out the window at the end of my first trimester and instead of cravings I have food aversions and grilled chicken is one of those aversions. I've remained pretty active (a lot of that has to do with my job too) and I still try to eat nutrient dense foods. However, if I'm tired and just need to get some calories in then I'm going to sit on the couch and eat whatever doesn't gross me out. I've been pretty hard on myself for this but luckily I have girlfriends who remind me that I'm growing a human and that's a lot of work in itself!! Do what's best for baby and what feels best for momma at the time. But also, don't use this as an excuse to fly off the handle because your baby gets the nutrients you get!
- Don't forget about your medical bills. Again, this sounds super silly but it just was not the first thing on my mind. Mario and I saved for the baby and I almost forgot to include possible medical expenses. After researching costs, you'll be surprised at what you may end up paying. You can call your insurance company and get an idea as well.
- It's totally normal to feel scared/nervous. A baby is a big deal! When I first started to feel scared, I felt guilty for feeling that way. How can I be scared of having my own baby? At first I thought it was age (I'm 25) but my mom had me at 32 and said she had the same fears I did. It's also probably a combo of your raging hormones and mood swings that makes these emotions more intense. I've had moments of excitement but I've also had moments of fear that my life will never be the same/I won't be a good mom/etc. From what I hear, your life never is the same but it's a lot better and you don't completely lose yourself or lose your mind just because you had a baby. You will also figure everything out as you go and motherhood really is an instinct. All of this advice has kept me from having many meltdowns and I've felt a lot better as the pregnancy goes on.
- Just be open minded and realize your body is being shared. Lose your expectations. Nothing is going to go as planned and it's not always fun but it will be very rewarding to have your very own human being. Emotions are real and sometimes it really feels like your body is not your own. Google away and take care of yourself. Enjoy what you can because the time flies by!
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