Why Mom Shaming Needs to Stop

Hi everyone and happy hump day! I've been wanting to write about mom shaming for awhile now because over the past few months I've realized how relevant and destructive it is. I think a lot of people don't even know they're doing it and honestly, I was probably guilty of it before I was ever pregnant. It's something that people need to be aware of and AVOID DOING IT. Mom shaming shows up in all different kinds of forms. Whether it's someone telling a mother she's doing motherhood wrong, judging a mom for something they can't control, or even being hard on yourself because of societal standards. I know I was very hard on myself for having to deliver Mia via C-section instead of having a normal delivery. Was it safer for her? Yes, so there was no question in having a C-section but it made me feel like less of a woman and less of a mother. I'm assuming this stems from natural births being so popular and the idea that those moms are braver than other moms who chose epidurals or end up with C-sections. Don't get me wrong, a C-section is not a walk in the park and the recovery isn't very fun either. Five weeks postpartum and my incision still bothers me a bit and it's not the prettiest mark on my body. However, what I should have focused on was the fact that I had a healthy baby and that in itself is amazing.

"No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother's love." -Edwin Hubbel Chapin

Now that I am a new mom, I've also taken to reading a lot of blogs and posts from other moms regarding mom shaming. The stories some of these women tell is absolutely astonishing. One lady said two strangers walked up to her in public and told her to be at home with her babies, not in the grocery store with them (um, sorry most people don't have personal assistants to get the groceries). Another woman said that she was told since she was a working mom she didn't care about her daughter. I wish I could tell the woman who made that remark, that she can come pay the bills so that mom can stay home with her daughter! Also, some of us honestly enjoy working. A lot of mom shaming comes from people who don't even have children so it leads you to ask yourself, where do they get off judging any mom out there? Even complete strangers feel the need to make comments to mothers they don't know! The worst is when other moms shame each other! There is not one single mom out there who is the world's only good mom. Hate to break it to you but motherhood isn't about competition. It really amazes me how inconsiderate people can be.

Every single mom I know has had a different journey. From pregnancy, to birth, to breastfeeding, to sleeping, etc. Motherhood isn't the same with each of your own children either! I've been very lucky that I've had a relatively easy time breastfeeding so far because that is not easy. I've slowly included various foods as well and she hasn't had any allergies! I know some women who have had a hard time with it and some who are weirded out by it. However, I would never tell another mother, "you're doing this feeding thing wrong" because I've been able to breastfeed. You just have to do whatever works for you. Every baby is very different so what may work for one may not work for another. There's all these books and blogs out there telling us "how to mom correctly" but in my opinion, there is no correct way! There's trial and error and finding out what works best for you and baby. There's nothing more frustrating and demeaning than finding what works for you but then being shamed about it. After hearing a comment about my motherhood tactics I realized that there is nothing more offensive than a mom shaming comment. You can tell me whatever you want about how I look, talk, whatever I don't really care but comment on what I'm doing as a mom (especially a new mom) and beware of my reaction. I'm sure plenty of moms can relate! Don't mess with momma!

"Life doesn't come with a manual, it comes with a mother." -Unknown

This post is a little bit of a rant and a little bit of a reminder to everyone to be mindful of what you say to a mom, or a dad for that matter. Society is already hard on women for just about anything and we don't need to make motherhood harder than it is. It's difficult for most women to find self love so let's not make that any worse. If you have an opinion on someones parenting style, keep it to yourself. I've decided if anyone wants to mom shame me I'm going to have some fun with my remark back to them and let it roll off my shoulders. I suggest you do the same and instead we can share all of our funny clap backs. Don't let someone else bring you down! Love yourself for being a mom and band together with all the other mommas out there!

Also, had to share another picture of our tiny human because I can't help myself :)

xo,
katie

Cilantro Lime Black Beans and Rice

I've been trying to come up with some creative and easy to make sides for dinner. This week I experimented with fresh black beans! I much prefer to use dry beans instead of canned beans. Below is what you'll need and how to make this yummy recipe!

Ingredients
-1 lb of dry black beans
-2 cups of white rice (can add more if you want more rice in the mix)
-1/2 bundle of cilantro, chopped
-2 limes
-4 cloves of garlic
-Garlic salt to taste

Directions
-Place the entire bag of beans in water to soak for a few hours ( they should absorb a lot of the water)
-Add the beans, four cloves of garlic, and six cups of water into a slow cooker and cook on low for 6-8 hours
-Before the beans are done, cook your rice and rinse out any excess water
-Mix the beans, rice, cilantro, and add garlic salt to taste
-Finish off by squeezing the two limes into the mix and then serve!

I love slow cooker recipes because you can cook them all day while at work and add your easy finishing touches at night for dinner. This mix can serve about 6-8 people. Enjoy!

xo
katie lynn

New Mom Must Haves

Mia is already one month old today! In this last month, I already have a list of products that I would highly recommend to make life with a new baby a little easier. I'm listing my new mom must haves below in no specific order. I'll also link where you can find these items. Swaddle blankets, burp cloths, and all those typical baby items are most important but I wanted to list a few special and specific items that gave me some extra help!

A small portable bassinet. This has been helpful if we are going to someones house for a long amount of time because I know I can put her down in a safe place to sleep. It will also be good for traveling and I use it during the day so she can be in the living room with me when I'm home. The one I use can be found here.

The Boppy Pillow. This pillow is a lifesaver especially for nighttime feedings. Mia and I can comfortably prop on the pillow while she nurses. This pillow is also meant to grow with baby so she will have different uses for it at three months, six months, and nine months. You can find the pillow here.

Boppy Pillow and Mia mid hardcore power nap.. lol

A Wubbanub Pacifier. Mia's mouth is so tiny that she has a hard time holding onto a pacifier. She also didn't like any other pacifier except for the Soothie's that are attached to this one. The animal on the pacifier helps me from 1- losing the darn thing and 2- keeping it propped on her so it doesn't fall out of her mouth. The Pacifier hasn't caused her any nipple confusion either so that's a plus. The pacifier can be found here.

A nipple shield. This was something that a nurse gave me in the hospital and I wouldn't have made it through the first weeks of breastfeeding without it! It helped with the pain, it taught Mia how to latch, and it saved both of us a lot of tears. Even now if she gets a little frustrated latching I will use it to help her and then take it off and she latches just fine. I would wait and see if you need one, I know some women may not have any latching issues and a shield may over complicate the process. A lactation consultant can be your best advice here. If you do need to buy one you can find the one I use here.

Milk Snob Cover. This cover is the best because it has so many uses. I can use it as a nursing cover, a car seat cover, a scarf, and a grocery seat cover. It's a thin fabric that isn't hot when we are nursing or when she's in the car but it still keeps the light out and gives us privacy. It's also tight around myself and the car seat which make it a lot easier to use instead of a lose fabric cover. The cover can be found here.

Milk Snob Cover

Medela HydroGel Pads. These also helped me through the first few weeks of breastfeeding because it was so painful! They're instantly cooling and can be reused. These are seriously like heaven! I found mine here.

A diaper bag insert. Personally, I never found a diaper bag that I liked more than my purses. I did find that Totesavvy makes these awesome purse inserts that can turn any bag into an organized diaper bag. I can also easily pull it out and switch to another purse or a backpack. I picked mine up here.

My Totesavvy

This is not a sponsored post by any means, just my own personal recommendations to help new moms. Enjoy my recommendations on new mom must haves!

xo,
katie lynn

Postpartum Diet & Breastfeeding Diet

Hi guys!!

I'm officially over two weeks postpartum and feeling pretty good! I was finally cleared for light exercise this week (just walking but I'll take what I can get) and my core is feeling a lot better. I gained, at the most, 22 pounds while pregnant and I've now lost 23 pounds since having Mia. I was 144 pounds and 22% BF pre baby and living a balanced lifestyle with my diet (also, I'm 5'7"). During pregnancy I was 166 at my heaviest and I ate pretty good but some days I would have horrible food aversions and just eat whatever sounded good (hot dogs, lol). Currently, I'm 143 pounds and 23% BF. However, my body is totally different! I lost a lot of muscle from mainly doing cardio while pregnant and that's what I'll be working to get back. I'm feeling pretty loose/skinny right now and I prefer a much stronger body! I've been trying to follow a pretty healthy postpartum and breastfeeding diet for Mia's health and for my own health. That'll help me when I'm back in the gym as well.

Two weeks post baby

I've been watching my intake on a few foods because I was concerned about anything that would affect breastfeeding through my diet. I've avoided things like broccoli, cabbage, beans, and spicy foods completely because I was concerned about those items giving her painful gas and an upset stomach. I've also kept dairy low because I was concerned about cows milk lowering my milk production. I eased into drinking almond milk and eating peanut butter and Mia doesn't seem to have any nut allergies. I'm also still keeping my caffeine intake low.

Since breastfeeding is going fine and Mia seems pretty happy then I'll probably start introducing some of these foods back into my diet. I feel like if I have a balanced diet we will both be just fine! I'll still monitor my cows milk and caffeine intake just because those won't help my own diet/health goals if I consume them in excess. I am not counting calories so I don't stress myself out but I am making sure I'm getting plenty of good meals into my day because breastfeeding does burn extra calories. I'm also eating a lot of healthy fat for my breastfeeding diet. Below is the schedule I'm following:

BREAKFAST

Carb, protein, healthy fat

SNACK

Nutritional bar

LUNCH

Carb, protein, veggie, healthy fat

SNACK

Something with more healthy fat

DINNER

Carb, protein, veggie

SNACK (sometimes if I'm hungry)

Something small with more healthy fat

I also wanted to list examples of what I'm eating for these meals!

BREAKFAST

Turkey bacon, two ingredient pancakes (one banana mashed with two eggs, SUPER easy) topped with natural PB

SNACK

Fig bar, love these

LUNCH

Tuna sandwich on wheat bread (gluten doesn't bother me), and carrots

SNACK

Lactation smoothie (posted this recipe here)

DINNER

Chicken cooked in garlic olive oil, rice with fresh garlic and a little light butter, and veggies also cooked in the same olive oil

SNACK

Almonds & Rasins

Two Ingredient Pancakes

I keep my meals pretty simple and easy since I'm busy with Mia and I'll spend most of my cooking efforts on dinner. These meals change daily because I like to mix it up and I'm not stressing over stuff like using a little bit of butter, etc. Being a new mom is the only thing I need to worry about, not stressing terribly over my diet!! Keep it easy, simple, and healthy. I reached out to my girl friends for some help on getting more fiber in my diet so I'll be adjusting a few meals (more veggies!!).

Also, a reminder that everyone's post baby journey is different and I am lucky to not be holding onto weight. This diet is working for me by keeping me full and feeling good. The weight loss is just how my body reacted right away but since I'm breastfeeding I'm definitely not trying to be in any crazy calorie deficit. I'm also still adjusting to my new body and I'm antsy to rebuild and see what happens! It's crazy what the body can do. If you're adjusting to your new body too, don't be discouraged! I'm trying to see this as a new path with nothing but room to improve my, "mom bod". I'll be eating good and walking my way through the next four weeks until I'm hopefully cleared for the gym! Then, I can see where I'm at and readjust my goals.

If you have any questions, always reach out :) I'm not a nutritionist- just sharing what works for me.

One week post baby

xo,

katie lynn

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What I ACTUALLY Used in My Hospital Bag

Hi all! I wanted to follow up with a post on what I ACTUALLY used in my hospital bag and share pictures of Mia! I knew I over packed but I don't think I used half of what I brought, LOL. Still, being prepared made me feel a lot better going to the hospital.

For myself:

• Pajamas with a nursing top and loose fitting pants (want to make sure no matter what kind of birth I have, that I don't have any pressure on my lower half)-Used these, to go home lol. Post c-section I was pretty movement limited so my hospital gown was the best for the first few days.
• Phone charger-Obviously used this.
• Toiletries like toothbrush, toothpaste, face wash, razor, shampoo, conditioner (little ones), make up wipes, lotion, chap stick, deodorant, face moisturizer-Used all of these items BUT I lost my darn chapstick and I needed that the most of course.
• Hair brush and hair ties-Didn't use, messy hair didn't care.
• Camera and charger-Used this the last day.
• Socks with little stickies on the bottom (had these, don't buy them because I'm sure the hospital has them too)-Don't bother with socks, the hospital socks are the best.
• Flip flops for the hospital shower-Did use these but the shower was also private in my room and very clean.
• Robe and slippers-Just used the slippers to go home.
• Comfy underwear (same reason for loose fitting pants)-Use the hospital underwear they give you and take some home, they're seriously the best especially post c-section.
• Snacks (more for him lol)-Needed more for him lol, I actually wasn't super hungry and the hospital can just bring you food and snacks to your room.
• Nursing bra-Definately used this.
• Book (in case I'm waiting)-Would have never used any "waiting" items with that contraction pain but I've heard some women do.
• Going home outfit that's loose fitting (same reason again)-Scrapped that, PJ's were all I wanted to be in.
• Prenatal vitamins-Did need these.
• Nursing pads-Used these.
• Nipple balm-Really needed this.
• Peri Spray with essential oils-Didn't need this because of my c-section.
• Essential Oils (if you want to know which ones, let me know I read a whole book on essential oils and birth/babies)-Used a few of these but a lot of them were more so if I had a normal delivery.
• My glasses because I'm blind-I didn't care that I can't see that far and the room TV's are close to you.
• My purse with wallet and all important paperwork/ID's/medical cards/etc.-Really needed this stuff, a lot of people come to see you regarding paperwork, appointments, etc. 

For baby:

• A few diapers and wipes just in case-Hospital has these.
• Nursing cover-Honestly, all modesty goes out the window and I never used this.
• Nursing pillow-I was so tired and would have died without this pillow to support her on.
• Four baby onesies (all a little different and a nice one to take her home in) with the fold over built in mittens because rumor has it tiny babies ditch those other mittens-Used just one to take her home in, otherwise the hospital dressed her too.
• Baby cap-Used this also for her going home outfit but the hospital gives you hats too.
• Baby mittens (just in case she's a bigger baby lol)-Didn't need these, she really didn't scratch herself and they were too big anyway, the onesies with built in mittens are the best.
• Swaddle Blanket-The nurses would just swaddle her in the hospital blankets but I will say the velcro ones are awesome if you're learning to swaddle a baby and/or your baby breaks out of the traditional swaddle.
• Her blanket-Did use this.
• Socks-Didn't use these and they fall off anyway.
• Diaper cream-You can't use this actually they say to stay away from this stuff for awhile.
• Burp cloth-Used this.
• Car seat and car seat head support-This is an obvious must.
• Pacifier-I've had conflicting advice on this, we were so tired the first night we actually tried one but she didn't like it. I've also heard this can cause nipple confusion with breastfeeding so just do your research prior.

For him:

• Entertainment-Needed more of this.
• Snacks-Needed more of these.
• Blanket-Forgot this and he did need one lol the hospital has blankets but they're pretty flimsy.
• Whatever else he can't live without-You'll need plenty of comfy clothes for him too otherwise he didn't need much else.

Luckily, the hospital has all of the important things for you and baby and they let you take just about everything home. Every experience is different so even after my review, I still think it's good that you pack what you feel is necessary so you don't have any anxiety about being unprepared. After Mia was born all I really cared about was her and the three of us being together. I'm sure that's how a lot of people feel so don't stress over the small stuff.

Also, we had her newborn photos done yesterday and I wanted to share some of them with you guys! We are so blessed and I'm so lucky to be her mom!!

Lactation Smoothie

With baby Mia finally here (yay!!) I'm trying to make sure my diet is on point for nursing success. I've found a few lactation cookies and smoothie recipes online and used them to create my own easy lactation smoothie recipe!

What you'll need:

-1/2 cup frozen strawberries
-1 sliced banana
-1/4 cup oats
-1 tbsp of natural PB ( I like the taste of the Dark Chocolate PB from PB & Co.)
-Unsweetened vanilla almond milk

Put everything in your blender, fill it up with the almond milk as you like and blend! I am using a single drink blender like the NutriBullet and this all fits perfectly. I would like to add some vegan protein powder but I'm waiting to ask my doctor on that first.

If you're worried about sugar then this may not be the smoothie for you. Even though it's natural sugar, I know some breast feeding moms want to avoid sugar as much as possible. However, I like the strawberries and bananas for potassium, vitamin C, magnesium, and iron. Every baby is different and I've read strawberries can cause some babies to have gas but so far Mia seems unaffected by it. The oats are really good for lactation (good source of iron) and the peanut butter is a good source of protein and fats for me and baby. Again, some people say it's best to avoid allergenic foods like PB while nursing but I think it's just important to eat well and monitor your baby. I'm also using almond milk instead of dairy because I have read that cows milk can limit your own milk supply. So far everything seems to be going well and the smoothie tastes good in general!

I'll be posting more baby pictures and what I didn't use out of my hospital bag here some time soon. Right now I'm just really enjoying baby bonding time :)

xo
katie lynn

What's in My Hospital Bag?

Thirty-seven weeks is here and I finally got around to packing my hospital bag! Obviously, being a new mom I don't know what I need yet so I compiled this based on Pinterest and my friends advice :) I'll do a follow up post with what I actually ended up using because I probably over packed. Pinterest had some of the most ridiculous lists (in my personal opinion) and I was trying not to bring a fully loaded suitcase LOL. I was able to pack just a duffle bag and we can carry the nursing pillow, etc.

For myself:

• Pajamas with a nursing top and loose fitting pants (want to make sure no matter what kind of birth I have, that I don't have any pressure on my lower half)
• Phone charger
• Toiletries like toothbrush, toothpaste, face wash, razor, shampoo, conditioner (little ones), make up wipes, lotion, chap stick, deodorant, face moisturizer
• Hair brush and hair ties
• Camera and charger
• Socks with little stickies on the bottom (had these, don't buy them because I'm sure the hospital has them too)
• Flip flops for the hospital shower
• Robe and slippers
• Comfy underwear (same reason for loose fitting pants)
• Snacks (more for him lol)
• Nursing bra
• Book (in case I'm waiting)
• Going home outfit that's loose fitting (same reason again)
• Prenatal vitamins
• Nursing pads
• Nipple balm
• Peri Spray with essential oils
• Essential Oils (if you want to know which ones, let me know I read a whole book on essential oils and birth/babies)
• My glasses because I'm blind
• My purse with wallet and all important paperwork/ID's/medical cards/etc.

For baby:

• A few diapers and wipes just in case
• Nursing cover
• Nursing pillow
• Four baby onesies (all a little different and a nice one to take her home in) with the fold over built in mittens because rumor has it tiny babies ditch those other mittens
• Baby cap
• Baby mittens (just in case she's a bigger baby lol)
• Swaddle Blanket
• Her blanket
• Socks
• Diaper cream
• Burp cloth
• Car seat and car seat head support
• Pacifier

For him:

• Entertainment
• Snacks
• Blanket
• Whatever else he can't live without lol

Typical, the guys list is always minimal!! Even after writing this I have the sense I over packed but I'm an over packer by nature and this is my first go around. I want to make sure I'm plenty prepared! I saw a lot of lists with things like candles, music, etc. to set the room up but that's not really my style so I left those items out. We'll see how this list works out for us and if you have any other suggestions, feel free to share! :)

xo
katie lynn

Baby Arrival Checklist

Hey everyone!

I wanted to create a basic baby arrival checklist for those of us who are expecting and clueless. I did not anticipate how much planning and prep went into a baby's arrival. A nice checklist like this below would have saved me from making a few mistakes.

• Find a good doctor. Don't skimp here, you'll be dealing with this person for almost an entire year and you want to make sure they meet all your needs so you feel comfortable during your pregnancy. Are they urgent enough for you? What about thorough? I like having a doctor I feel like I can talk to instead of one who makes me feel silly for asking (what they probably consider) dumb questions. You also may want a midwife instead because they have a different set of skills. Some hospitals can't promise what doctor will deliver you (unless you're high risk) but they can make sure the midwife you've seen the entire pregnancy, will deliver you.

• Start thinking about saving money and time off of work. The US is actually super behind the times and a lot of places offer little to no maternity leave if you're a working lady. This means you'll want to start saving ASAP. You'll want to make a budget and figure out how long you are going to be away from work so you know what you need to keep yourself covered. Even if you don't work, you'll still want to save for things like hospital bills, unexpected baby expenses, items you may still need, etc. You don't want to wipe out your savings during this time because you didn't create a "baby savings". If you do get maternity leave, I would still save!

• Do you want to breastfeed, bottle feed, will you pump, etc. How will you feed this tiny human? You may not even figure this out fully until the baby is here but if you are dead set on breastfeeding then you'll want to add breastfeeding items to your registry. If you want to use formula then you may want to research some formulas, etc. I just think it's good to have an idea here so you can again try to plan ahead for it. You may want to take a breastfeeding class beforehand so you know what to expect. Also, a lot of insurances will cover the cost of your pump which you can get towards the end of your pregnancy.

• Create your registry (or registries) and research baby products. This took me some time because holy crap, for such a tiny human you need a lot of stuff. Luckily, Mario, my mom, and girlfriends who have kids were able to help me figure out what we need, or don't need to waste our money on. I still did some research on different items to try to best anticipate what I won't be able to live without. That extra money you saved is for what you don't know you need yet.

• Schedule your maternity photos. If this is something you want to do then make sure to schedule them early! I believe a lot of photographers like to shoot the maternity photos around 30-32 weeks and a lot of professional photographers book up quickly. This was important to us so I wanted to make sure not to miss out!

Photo by: Maura Jane Photography

• Get your nursery ready! This is the fun part! Also, still time consuming. This was important to me but  may not be your priority. A lot of times babies sleep in bassinets in mom and dads room for awhile so this can be done at a later date. I didn't want to wait because I want to make sure I don't have much else to deal with besides the baby.

• Buy a body pillow!! I skimped here and I'm regretting this now. I really need some belly and leg support. Luckily, I have a basset hound which is the next best option for a leg rest :)

• Organize your baby clothes by size. If you get baby clothes ahead of time then you'll want them organized before hand (nesting problems). You may want to keep tags on in case you return some items or you may want to have everything washed and ready for the baby.

• Have a game plan for your baby's insurance. Typically, you only have 30 days post baby to figure this out and there's probably going to be a lot going on in those 30 days. Be prepared so you know what insurance to get him or her on and you can do it right away. Babies have hospital bills too.

• Take a birth class or educate yourself on birth so you're at least semi prepared. You can also tour the hospital if you'd like so you know where to go, where you'll be staying, etc.

• Know your birth preferences like who will be in the room, will dad cut the umbilical cord, do you want pain relief, do you want a home birth, etc. Some people type out birth plans and some of us just want to decide before hand if we want an epidural or not. Either way, I would think about this before, not when you're headed to the hospital and have to stress over it. Also, everyone reminds me that labor won't go how I plan so I'm making my own birth preferences but keeping in mind that they may go flying out the window.

• Have a game plan for how you're getting to the hospital, who you're calling, and what you're doing with siblings and/or pets.

• Pre-register at the hospital. I'm not sure if all hospitals do this but I wanted to make sure to pre-register at mine so they can expect my arrival.

• Pack your hospital bag. Just in case things happen fast, I want to be very prepared! I'll post what's in my bag next week :)

• Put your last few items together like the bassinet, car seat, stroller, etc. Some items can be put together at a later date, like a high chair, but it's nice to have everything else set up so you don't have to deal with it when you get home.

• It also doesn't hurt to start thinking about what you will do if you have to go back to work. Is daycare an option or will family members watch the baby? I'm sure the three months I'm off will fly by so I need to be prepared for that as well.

I'm sure I've left a few items off because baby brain is real these days, but at least this can get you started. Hopefully, you enjoy making lists and planning as much as I do!

xo,
katie lynn

Growing Self Love

Body image is something I think a lot, if not most, girls struggle with. However, not a lot of women want to admit to this. Whether it's just being overly critical or totally hating your body, it's miserable either way. I've struggled with this at different levels and now my body has taken on a very new round shape. A few years ago my body changing would have devastated me but working on self love has really helped me to love my pregnant shape. I actually feel pretty confident as a pregnant woman! I feel like I'll always be a little critical of myself but there are ways to get past the daily self shaming that I use to feel.

I can actually remember the day that I read a post from a girl (I wish I could remember who) that was about changing your own opinion of yourself. Most of us look in the mirror and criticize ourselves or think about what we wish we could change about ourselves. She wrote about how that kind of activity had to stop and the first step to loving yourself started with how you looked at yourself. Instead of looking in the mirror and degrading yourself, look in the mirror and find something positive. It doesn't matter if it's small or big but focus on that and take pride in whatever it is you like about yourself. Then walk away from the mirror, just walk away! Everyday she said she did this and everyday it was easier on her to love herself and realize that she was unique and she wouldn't want to be anyone else. I feel like that post changed everything for me and I really wish I could remember who posted it!! I started practicing my own positive daily reinforcement and it completely changed how I saw myself and has still helped me today.

Another thing I see women do all the time is openly criticize themselves. Whether we just feel better saying we feel "fat" out loud or we are looking for the "no, you're not fat" comment, it isn't healthy. I know I have done this for both reasons! I think it's okay to discuss how you feel with your loved ones because sometimes if you get it off of your chest then you can work on not feeling that way. But I feel like constantly, openly criticizing yourself is really unhealthy and just makes whatever you are feeling, worse. I tried really hard to keep these thoughts to myself so I didn't start to feel negative about how I looked and that's another huge thing that helped change my thought process. Your friend compliments you on your dress, don't say you feel fat just take the compliment and realize that most of the time you're probably being hard on yourself. The picture below is from when I was in Spain three years ago (crazy how time flies) and I remember thinking I looked HUGE. Now I look at this picture and I'm like WTH???? I would probably assume my friends had that same what the hell thought when I said I looked fat that day. I read a quote that said something about how everyone deserves to look at themselves the way their loved ones look at them. 100% true.

I think it's okay to be somewhat critical to keep yourself motivated. However, most of us are down right shameful of our bodies. Even famous women who we may see as perfect have openly shared their body shaming issues. I also think social media plays a huge part in women's self esteem struggles. I remember I use to follow all of these fitness girls that just looked (unrealistically) amazing all the time. I say unrealistically because a lot of these women probably don't have social lives and spend a TON of time working on their bodies, meal prepping, etc. That lifestyle isn't realistic for the average mom, working woman, etc. Not to say you can't be fit but take into account that it's probably not worth losing your lifestyle over it. Following those type of accounts made me just feel like I was not fit enough. I had to stop following a lot of these girls and instead I found some great women on Instagram who are REALISTIC about how they look and feel and they're fit but they're healthy and live normal lives. Find some positive inspiration, not just something pretty to look at.

I'm sure men struggle with self esteem issues as well but I think it's a lot more prominent with women. I think self love is really important and very hard to come by. Hopefully, some of these things I shared will help to guide you on your own journey to a positive body image and self love! Also, listed below are a few awesome girls to follow on Instagram for a realistic and honest approach to self love, fitness, and body image.

@kaliforndee

@juliealedbetter

@em_dunc

@ohilyssa

xo,
katie lynn

10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Pregnant

A lot of little girls, like myself, think about one day becoming a mommy and as you grow up you learn the basics of what that entails. How babies are made (stork delivery isn't real), pregnancy is nine months long and painful at the end, being a mom is great, you will waddle and crave weird things, pretty much the obvious things. However, what no one tells you is that pregnancy is one of the biggest mysteries/learning experiences that you may ever go through. I've used Google and baby books so much in the last few months that I feel like I'm working on a third degree. I've had a lot of mommy support around me but I wish someone would have just rattled off a list of things I don't know and really would like to know before pregnancy goes any further. So even though I'm not a pregnancy expert and every pregnancy is different, I figured I can make my own list for some of you newly pregnant and totally lost mommas out there. This is a pretty simple list but hopefully it gives you a place to start your pregnancy journey!

1. EVERY PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT! So many people tell me pregnancy stories, some of them good and most of them scary (not sure if I appreciate the honesty or would rather not know) and it makes you think that if your pregnancy isn't like someone else's then you're doing it wrong. I'm at the point that I'm supposed to have Braxton Hicks so everyone is asking me if I feel them and I. don't. feel. a. damn. thing. So then I start thinking that Mia is going to be in there forever because I haven't had them yet. Finally, I hear a story from one mom who said she never felt hers either and she had her baby right on time (hallelujah). She also told me what to look for if you don't feel anything and, turns out, I have been having Braxton Hicks. The moral here is to listen to everyone's experiences but know that you can't base yours off of anyone else's so don't be hard on yourself for that.
2. Labor is nothing like the movies. Your water doesn't break while you're in public and you barely make it to the hospital, all the while screaming, and then having the baby as soon as you arrive. It sounds silly but believe it or not (since I've never been pregnant or looked into pregnancy) I thought your water broke and that meant baby was coming so you better get to the hospital ASAP. Easy peasy. Turns out a lot of water's don't break and there is A LOT to learn about labor and delivery. Don't skip this section in your baby book!!
3. You need a baby book. There are tons out there so you'll have plenty to chose from. My mom bought me, "What to Expect While You're Expecting" and I took a look at this big book like when am I going to have time to read that? Luckily, she did buy it for me because I wouldn't have and it's become my bible. It lists all the odd symptoms you will experience and not expect. It talks about everything from baby's size to the fun term "lighting crotch". Yes, it's a thing.
4. Be prepared for a lot of planning. Again, these sound simple but they are not things you think about if you've never really been around babies or haven't had one of your own yet. I have spent a lot of time at the doctor, pre-planning for baby, making lists, making phone calls, making more lists, etc. If someone offers to help you, let them. I'll share my baby planning checklist in another post soon :)
5. Baby registries will take you hours to compile, if not days. There are so many options for babies that it'll make your head spin. Luckily, a lot of stores have a handy online check list to help you create that registry. You may just want to do your own research on different baby products so you know what the heck you're looking at. Also, ask for advice here. Ask other moms what they've used and not used so you can limit the amount of useless crap that companies try to sell you.
6. People will give you tons of "advice". Just smile and nod. I found myself getting a little cranky with this in the middle of my pregnancy because sometimes it comes off as pushy advice. Really, people just want to help so take it all in with a grain of salt but make your own decisions. It's your body and your baby.
7. Try your best to continue a healthy lifestyle but also cut yourself some slack. I so badly wanted to have a crazy fit pregnancy and squat my way into 40 weeks while still downing grilled chicken salads. However, back pain threw the squats out the window at the end of my first trimester and instead of cravings I have food aversions and grilled chicken is one of those aversions. I've remained pretty active (a lot of that has to do with my job too) and I still try to eat nutrient dense foods. However, if I'm tired and just need to get some calories in then I'm going to sit on the couch and eat whatever doesn't gross me out. I've been pretty hard on myself for this but luckily I have girlfriends who remind me that I'm growing a human and that's a lot of work in itself!! Do what's best for baby and what feels best for momma at the time. But also, don't use this as an excuse to fly off the handle because your baby gets the nutrients you get!
8. Don't forget about your medical bills. Again, this sounds super silly but it just was not the first thing on my mind. Mario and I saved for the baby and I almost forgot to include possible medical expenses. After researching costs, you'll be surprised at what you may end up paying. You can call your insurance company and get an idea as well.
9. It's totally normal to feel scared/nervous. A baby is a big deal! When I first started to feel scared, I felt guilty for feeling that way. How can I be scared of having my own baby? At first I thought it was age (I'm 25) but my mom had me at 32 and said she had the same fears I did. It's also probably a combo of your raging hormones and mood swings that makes these emotions more intense. I've had moments of excitement but I've also had moments of fear that my life will never be the same/I won't be a good mom/etc. From what I hear, your life never is the same but it's a lot better and you don't completely lose yourself or lose your mind just because you had a baby. You will also figure everything out as you go and motherhood really is an instinct. All of this advice has kept me from having many meltdowns and I've felt a lot better as the pregnancy goes on.
10. Just be open minded and realize your body is being shared. Lose your expectations. Nothing is going to go as planned and it's not always fun but it will be very rewarding to have your very own human being. Emotions are real and sometimes it really feels like your body is not your own. Google away and take care of yourself. Enjoy what you can because the time flies by! 

Photos by: Maura Jane Photography

xo,
katie lynn

End of Summer Style

Like most stores, I'm starting to get ready for fall (football) and fall style. Even though summer is technically nearing its end, New Mexico heat likes to hang out for awhile and delay some of that fall fashion. Also, as I get larger, my wardrobe is getting smaller so instead I'm trying to finish out the summer with some fun accessories! Below are some things I'm loving right now and a few items that are still maternity comfort approved. And affordable!

Bright Colors and slides!! I'm actually a lot more of a neutral color gal but I'm still trying to get out of my comfort zone and incorporate some fun summer colors like red. I'm also all about comfort for my feet as my belly grows and these slides are the comfiest pair of sandals I own. I love that these are now in style and have become more of a fashion statement instead of just sportswear slides you can slip on after a workout. Also, we are on a tight budget getting ready for baby and after reading Total Money Makeover (more on that later) so don't let these brand items fool you!! My mom gave me the purse and I ordered these wonderful shoes for under $10 at shopual.com (thank you Jenny and Camille for finding this wonderful place). Just keeping it real here! Purse from Cole Haan.

Turtleneck/sleeveless tops and a comfy heel. And a dirty mirror, oops. Anyways, I've always loved these tops as summer turns to fall because I feel like they're a mix of both seasons and can be very sleek and flattering (and luckily this one still fits me). Also, if you're still trying to rock heels while pregnant, go for something secure with a thick heel. Your balance is thrown off so don't chance a skinny, loosely strapped heel unless you're brave. Found these boots at egoshoes.com and this website has shoes that replicate expensive designer pieces (like the Yeezy heel) for awesome prices. These shoes can also transition well into fall but they're light weight enough for summer heat. Again, with the neutral colors here.. I can't help it! Top from Forever21. Both items are older and may not be available.

Kimono's and chokers. Two of my most favorite trends!! The Kimono's are good for the warm weather and still fit a pregnant body. I also feel like with the right colors they can transition well into fall. Believe it or not, I found this one at the Motherhood store! Also, if you're a 90's kid, chokers are the best thing ever and I think they easily dress up any outfit. I can't remember where I found this choker but most likely it's from Forever21.

No matter what your style is I think it's always good to have affordable key pieces and I also love that I see a lot of women still dressing up while pregnant! There are fun ways to look cute no matter your size and you can still stay comfortable. Enjoy the last bit of summer wear while you can and I hope this post helps you come up with some fun looks of your own!

xo
katie lynn

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